My name is Anna Shore, and I work as an engineer with the Small IT Group (SITG) at the Big Private University (BPU). We have a manager – Bob. Bob is incompetent, overweight, unattractive, uncouth, socially awkward, and generally, not a very nice person at all. Very soon after Bob became our manager, he began insisting that we (all eight of us) address him as Executive Director. When we realized that he wasn’t joking, we got together and did a lot of soul searching, trying to determine what evil deed in our past could have caused the unfair sequence of events that brought him into our professional lives. But, finally, after a great deal of introspection, we decided that no amount of collective evil was sufficient to justify such a brutal cosmic injustice.
For a while, we were convinced that Bob had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. But then, something happened – Bob stopped showing up for work on a regular basis. Several times a week Bob would take a vacation day, a personal day, a sick day. Sometimes he wouldn’t even bother explaining his absence, acting as if spontaneous five-day weekends were simply the norm. And that is how everyone came to wonder – where is Bob? The question became perpetual in the office and among the other people at BPU with whom we work. And that is when I took up my current hobby – keeping chronicles of Bob’s strangeness at the office, and away from it. What is lacking in facts has been more than made up for with an overactive imagination.
This blog is about us, Bob, and the bizarre things that he does instead of coming to work.
Hillarious :-)
I’m really really REALLY looking forward to your continuing saga. Thanks for sharing and good luck. It sounds like you’re gonna need it!
Sad, but hilarious. How long can this Bob guy possibly last in his current position.
This is great stuff, I hope to read more.
I swear, Bob has a twin. Actually, I think he’s one of septuplets or something because I have worked with this same no talent ass clown at many companies.
Great, great blog though. Please keep the updates coming.
Bob has a european doppelganger. Precisely the same physical description, but in a commercial company. Not quite as outrageous in the absenteeism excuses department, but definitely as incompetent with both technologies and people. Triggered several of us to quit before we defenestrated him (or more accurately, gave ourselves hernias in an unsuccessful attempt at defenestration – none of us are olympic weightlifters). The exceptionally obvious lying, the massive ego, all of it – a perfect replica.
Reading this blog was spookily similar to my own experiences.
absolutely awesome.
i love the fact that this guy was put into a position of authority due to the dotcom-boom-peter-principle. keep up the good work, and keep the faith that you’ll eventually get a decent manager, or figure out a way to group manage yourselves.
This is great stuff. Please continue writing!
I too appreciate the stories!
MOAR PLZ
Executive Director would be shortened to E.D. in my conversations with him.
Doesn’t Bob have a boss? Why don’t you just send her/him this link and be done with Bob?
I hope you continue with your saga–it made me laugh quite a bit!
THANK YOU for sharing.
Has anyone looked in to getting him fired?
She works in Academia, and you can be assured of one thing in Academia: No one gets fired unless A) You commit a felony, or B) Piss off the Dean.
Competence is a non-factor.
I know, I work for another Bob… only far worse.
It makes me laugh…and, sadly, it makes me cry……I also have worked for a “Bob,” although not quite as bad as yours….thanks for sharing! Keep it up! Can’t wait to read more.
Does Bob happen to wear open-toed sandals showing off his really bad foot fungus? He sounds disturbingly familiar.
Very funny!
This will probably help determine “Who” is Bob and “Why” he is the “Executive Director”…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle
Very Funny!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Principle
Anna: I’m Bunny and I work at Huge Private University (HPU) and I’m an IT technician here. About four months ago, my uberboss hired Mike, the new manager.
Your stories are disturbingly similar to what we have encountered here thus far … down to the sexual harassment and the technical as well as personal incompetence. And of course … the absence. At least, our Mike has the good graces to never give an excuse or even write us an email. We are thinking of starting out own blog about this … you have been a source of inspiration.
I need this job for my education benefits, but have been job hunting. We were joking at this office about hiring you away, but you’d just end up here, with a “Where is Mike?” situation.
If we every start our blog, we’ll let you know. We are going to start a calender called “Mike’s encounters.” We’ll be listing his work hours as best as we can get it.
“Bob” is undoubtedly one “o” short of a total boob!
I will have to draw upon these experiences should my own excuse-well run dry.
TIP: One should never kill off one’s parents (even if they are dead) because you can get so much more absent day mileage if they are “alive but with issues”. Likewise, never admit to NOT owning a car unless you only plan to rely on the public transportation excuse–which often cannot be backed up by others who also take the same el/bus/metra/subway in to work.
You should admit to having problematic parents and a problematic car–and problem with your house flooding, electricity going out, burglary, etc.
Learn from BOØB, people!
Please keep this up! The cubed world needs an outlet.
Does Bobs performance directly affect you?? If not, I say you should just sit and enjoy the debauchery. A lot of ppl are saying to get him fired, I totally disagree. I am not an IT professional, but I work in a very skilled trade. we get “bobs” all of the time in my profession. All they do is make the good employees look like great employees. And like bob, they never get into much trouble, and they get raises. But eventually, they burn their own bridge to the ground. wait, it will happen to bob too. I actually look forward to seeing a FNG(fewkin new guy) start at my job. It’s kind of entertaining in a way, as you very well know.
that, and what else takes up the monotiny <sp, of your day? I would think it could get very boring sitting in front of computers ALL day. Atleast you have something “fun” to focus on.
I am glad neatorama posted about your blog, I’m putting it in my favorites list. keep up the great blog.
thanks!!!
hmm, unbelievable
Very funny….
I love this blog, i have a friend with similar name (Bo), whose very bothering my life actually……
I want to get rid of him, but it was very very hard…..
Great stories…keep them up. I have personally never had a manager with all of Bob’s traits, but I have had peers like him. Good luck and hang in there…not too much longer before you’re finished with school!
hello,
i had a ‘bob’ as a senior minister. You see, in IT it is generally funny. Throw in the FIRES OF HELL and the option of throwing people into it and it becomes AMAZING! watch out though, bob’s are snakes and have a tendency to drain you in the process (cause you have to fix all of his fucking problems)
good luck
I used to work for Small IT Group at Small Private University. At the end of 2006, we had a “new manager” arrive who reminds me a lot of Bob, in his actions, words, and appearance. Last I heard, he was no longer working for SPU. I pray that Bob is not the person I dealt with.
Awesome. Keep the posts coming!
[...] you know him too? August 15, 2008 2:23 AM Subscribe Where Is Bob? We have a manager — Bob. Bob is incompetent, overweight, unattractive, uncouth, socially awkward, [...]
[...] Where is Bob? Tales of an absentee manager. Someone linked to this on another forum, and I found it entertaining and well-written, so I thought I’d share. (Some of you IT people may even relate, I imagine) Here’s one of the [nerdy] highlights: Originally Posted by Where is Bob? As we later found out, the drunken debauchery with sexy artist friends [That Bob has referred to] was in fact an all night Magic the Gathering tournament at a downtown comic book shop, where Bob was sighted by one of our interns. The terrible headache was probably real. The intern reported that Bob took a serious beating from a 12-year old boy, and left the scene distraught, his mana depleted. I recommend reading it chronologically (bottom to top). A nice way to kill 15 minutes on a slow Friday, at the very least. [...]
I can’t wait for more posts! >.<
This is incredible! I love it! :-D
Amazing and fabulous! I’m hooooooked!
I love it! I’ll be reading this blog religiously in the future!
Wow… can’t say much else! Its like the words reach out and grab you by the eyeballs so you cannot stop reading.
I think there is a little bit of Bob in all of our lives (God help us).
Thanks for the great stories of your Bob, my Bob doesn’t do funny things, just frustrating, inconsiderate things.
[...] Where Is Bob? Tales of an Absentee Manager – Blog that chronicles the adventures of a team under a manager named "Bob", who is quite, um, dysfunctional. Quite funny from what I've read so far. [...]
[...] is Where is Bob, which I’m sure at least one of you will greatly enjoy. It’s author describes its only subject [...]
i just found this page through a friend of mine and i just want to say that it is probably one of the most entertaining things i have ever read. I am a little torn for your predicament. One side of me really hopes that Bob gets the boot for his incompetency in order to relieve you all from your professional hell. On the other hand, I just cant get enough of these hilarious stories which are just too absurd to be made up. this is the kind of blog that has forced me to want to learn how to put rss feeds onto my new phone.
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!
We have Bob’s Triplet here in Australia!! KILL ME NOW!!!
I particularly winced at the “”Can’t be done!” He didn’t say it like a question, and I knew what was coming. “You are one of those people who say NO all the time. No, we can’t write our own operating system! No, we can’t have a backup of everything! People hate that! You impede progress!”" bit.
Our Personal Bob says that sort of thing all the time – AND MEANS IT. “I want to be surrounded by Yes-People who ask “How high” when the client says ‘Jump’” is a verbatim quote from one of our meetings …
OMG!!! I can’t wait to delve into your blog. So very very similar to my life here at the office with Nancy, et. al. LOL
Please keep updating! These stories are so fantastic :)
Suffering from like afflications I regret to inform you that, believe it or not, there are female Bobs about as well.
telling the truth – I love this blog! There are many thing I know from daily business
Wonderful stuff. I’ve been working as a freelancer from home while raising children, and this blog brought back so many memories of my pre-kid office life. On days when I’m pulling my hair out, wishing I was back in the workforce, I will recall all the incompetent Bob bosses I’ve had and be thankful for my current post. Hang in there! The great part is that you have each other – and all of us “Where is Bob” fans. Keep writing!