If you would like to offer me a book deal, please send mail to anna.whereisbob@gmail.com.
I can guarantee that I am exactly what your publishing company needs. Together we can produce the kind of book that young urbanites will buy as a birthday present for somebody about whom they know very little, and for whom they care even less. As far as business ventures go, it’s a sure thing.
Comments not from publishers or literary agents are also welcome, but understandably, less anticipated.
please don’t let Bob go too long without crushing him.
I know his type – and as I was reading this I got a taste in my mouth that reminded me of a guy I used to be friends with who was an habitual liar. And it was SO insulting and frutstrating that eventually I stopped humoring him and just started callling him on every lie that he tried to perpetrate – on me or anyone else he spoke to in my presence.
There was a short period of unpleasantness followed by a long and permanent period of himlessness
i hate bob – but love the stories.
Hi, I just read all four of your entries and can’t wait for more. I have a very similar manager, but I’m in sales. Just a micro-managing prick, and it’s a relief to know that I’m not alone. You’ve done a great job with the site, and with the writing. Keep it up!
-Big Mike
P.S. If you’re going to post this (not that I expect it), please don’t leave my name or email address on it. Thank you.
I read all the stories backwards, most recent first. I am amazed at your self control to not remove his testicles that first day with a rusty spork.
This stuff is hilarious! I’m wondering how much of it is true? For example, are the emails you post copy and paste jobs with care taken to protect the innocent (or guilty for that matter). If it is all true, you need to get rid of the guy before his idiot radiation melts your brain.
Anna,
I wish to inform you, that you are a liar. None of these stories about me even remotely close. First off I.. . hold on I have to check my BlueBerry. . . Can’t figure how to turn this thing off. .. As I was saying if you spent more time on getting to work then writing your stories about ‘management’ then maybe you wou.. hold on again my Berry phone… Well, just get back to work. Let the office know I won’t be able to make it in tomorrow. Apparently my pet chimp got out of my mansion and started screwing up my Picaso paintings.
-Bob
I read all 4 tales — twice — and believe they must certainly be far more wonderful than the Boss-Man is wretched. Bless your hearts.
You write very well, and it is refreshing. Thank you.
~gg~
Anna, you are a terrific writer. Keep these tales coming. Might I refer you as well to “The Chronicles of George.” (Google it, you will not be sorry.)
You’re posting too many details for NYU’s search-happy portal.
Consider obfuscating the names a little more.
I’m loving this. Your next step is to find a way to harness Bob’s incompetence in hilarious ways.
I subscribed to your feed.
It comes with an empty title.
Just thought you should know.
So my colleague showed me your site, and it made my day. I have a Sr. AD for a boss who’s habitually late, absent, working from home, on vacation, or taking a ‘well deserved’ lieu day. Besides the vacation weeks he’s taken, I have 25 out of office emails that I’ve printed out and made into a hanging mobile. I’ve flirted with the idea of hanging it over his desk… but I don’t want to be fired QUITE yet.
I’ve been miserable with my own Bossman, but your blog just made my day. I’m your newest and biggest fan! Thank you!
Hi Anna
I’m not a publisher but if you ever do publish a book I will definately buy it. :) Love the posts and the sarcastic edge. :) best of luck!
cheers
Saira
After some of the horror and surrealism I’ve been through, it’s always nice to see it’s not just me – thanks :)
It’s terrible.
Since Bob makes your lives miserable, might I suggest that you return the favor? He’s given you enough material to sabotage him with that you can constantly be putting him in uncomfortable situations, preferably with witnesses. Do some guerilla warfare. It’ll give him fits and make you guys feel like you’re “doing something”. It may even have the positive effect of holding him accountable and showing him that he can’t lie and get away with it — although you’re not doing it for that reason, you’re doing it because it’s fun.
Start calling him on his lies. Reply to his e-mails with eyewitness accounts that he was elsewhere, and cc *his* boss. If everybody does it at once, he can’t fire all of you.
If he claims expertise in an area, try tripping him up. Ask him a question that would require that expertise. Try to get him to give “details” about his false schooling and/or work experiences, and then trap him with an innocent “but I thought you said you were at so-and-so at that time” question.
Have somebody ask him if he ran across the so-and-so management theory, and give him some tentative ideas of what the theory is supposed to be about, then let him run with it. Don’t tell him you made it up on the spot. Or maybe do.
Ask him to look into why the Unix ‘rm -R /’ command isn’t working right, and ask him to look into it for you with other departments.
If he tries to impress you with names, places or things, shoot him down with, “Oh I know him — he’s an idiot”, “I’ve been there — it’s really gone downhill lately”, “I used to have one of those — I finally got sick of it”, etc., then turn and leave.
And here’s a good one — have the entire office call in sick on the same day, with everybody having a different outlandish excuse. Maybe even have everybody use the same excuse, maybe even one of his (“stomach flu or laryngitis”). Don’t do what he did and make them obviously and verifiably false, like with his dead parents or non-existent car, because he’ll call you on it. And have everybody bring him a souvenir.
Why did the stories end?
Anna,
Firstly, my deepest sympathy for having to live through this obviously difficult time. Secondly, Bravo for spilling it so very well onto the page!!
It’s been said that comedy is someone else’s pain and your missives are so painfully familiar, that I find myself laughing whilst simultaneously biting my lower lip something awful !
I have been in IT since the late 80’s and had the misfortune to bump into a or Bob or two along the way. I am truely sorry to report that there is no cure. They tend to either move along for “.. a much better, higher paid, more dynamic, synergistically cohesive position where I can maintain my current and potential inertia!” (I kid you not) or worse yet be promoted.
So I wish you good luck, stay strong and please, please do continue to tell us more of you and your colleagues times with Bob.
Where is Bob? I’m missing the antics – hope you weren’t discovered & fired.
I had to get a new seat since I wore the edge off the old one. What happens next!?!
midterms, miserable tension, no fun anymore, stressful treatment and probably a write-up or publisher
or maybe he’s gone, but, you would have let us know
whatever’s going on, thank you for venting; letting us know we’re not alone at the hands of merciless, abusive, “authority”
I enjoy the stories. I’d like to be able to read them all on the main page, instead of having the click through.
Its been a while since the last update. When are we going to see what Bob is up to next?
Come backkkk!!!